To My Person With Love

My sister got married a year ago!!! Which is simultaneously crazy and not crazy at all. To celebrate, I thought I'd share the paper that I wrote about to prepare for my speech at her wedding. But before I start, here's a few pictures from the day:

(Images by Corey Gross Photography.)

To My Person With Love

I do not like being ill-prepared for important things in my life; well, really I don’t like being ill-prepared for anything, but especially the important things. My sister getting married is one of those important things.

For years and years Tonya joked that one day when she got married, I was going to be her personal attendant. I always got fake upset when she’d say so. I was never actually upset, though, because I knew I was really going to be her maid of honor, and here we are.

And even though Tonya hates the movie Bridesmaids, I couldn't get through this post without one of these GIFs.

I went wedding dress shopping with her. I went to grungy second-hand shops dedicated to thrifty brides. I told her how I felt when she came up with new exciting ideas, and also when she comes up with stupid, unrealistic ideas. I threw her bachelorette party and helped throw a bridal shower.

I spent weeks trying to figure out how in the world I was going to make 500 chocolate chip cookies that taste good while also passing my physics final. But I made those cookies, because my sister loves my chocolate chip cookies (though the grade of my physics final is still to be determined).

I did those things because that is what the MoH does. That is what the sister does. None of those things have bothered me, but the idea of writing a speech to toast at her wedding was quite terrifying.

I am a writer. I often can get my words out better on paper, or rather my computer, than in actual verbal language. But when I knew I had to write this speech—and then give it, which is another story for another time—I knew getting into words how much my big sister means to me was going to be nearly impossible.

In typical writer fashion, I often procrastinate. So, when I saw that I had the opportunity to create my own project for my Advanced Composition class, I knew I had the perfect opportunity to not wait until the night before the wedding to give a single thought about what I was going to say.

Back to the typical writer fashion, however, the day before my secret project presentation came around and I had only a slight outline in my head of possible things to talk about. I, the typical 21 year old that I am, went straight to google.

I generally turn to Tonya to solve my problems, but she couldn’t exactly solve this one, so google was the next best thing.

I quickly typed “maid of honor speech ideas” into the search bar, and clicked on the first result. The first of their tips was to start early. In the world of my Advanced Composition presentation? Not so much. In the grand scheme of “your sister/best friend/person is getting married”? Check.

Tip number 2 was to start off with an introduction. They tell me that not everyone here is going to know who I am, so hi. I’m Taylor. You might not know me but if you saw me from 50 feet away in the grocery you would probably think that you do because you’re here, so you know Tonya. Despite the seven-year age difference, we are mistaken for twins quite often. You wouldn’t bet the first or last to do so. Here is some proof:

The next thing they said was to borrow some words. It should be something meaningful, something the wraps up our relationship. For any of you who know us well, know we love Gilmore Girls. In the show’s theme song it says, “where you lead I will follow.” I took this quite literally for a long time with Tonya. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, so the things that led me to where I am today in a short summary is basically: “hmmmm. College. Well, Tonya went to Augie, I guess I’ll go to Augie!?”

And then there’s Grey’s Anatomy. Tonya watched Grey’s a lot when I was young and in my “I’m too cool to like a show that makes people cry and stuff” phase. I recently started watching Grey’s too, and I don’t think I can sum up Tonya and I’s relationship without a comparison to Meredith and Christina. Christina once says, referencing Meredith, “If I murdered someone, she’s the person I’d call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor. She’s my person.” Ton, you are who I would call if I needed help dragging a body through my living room. Another favorite quote is when Meredith once said to Christina, “Derek is the love of my life, but you’re my soul mate.” Spence, you might be the love of Tonya’s life, but I’m always going to be her soul mate.

Another tip the Internet mention was to not forget the groom. Just as my relationship with Tonya has changed throughout the years, so has my relationship with Spencer. When Tonya and Spencer first started dating I wasn’t the cool college kid you see standing up here today. I was quite literally the embodiment of the phrase “annoying little sister.”

One time, before I had even met Spence, I had grabbed Tonya’s phone and ran off screaming that I was gonna text her booooooooyfriiieeeennndddddd. She freaked out. It’s probably good I never sent the text. I would feel real bad if I had scared him off and Tonya ended up with some other loser. Then there was the time maybe a year into their relationship when my mom asked me to make a Christmas List. My cousin Morgan and I put “Tonya and Spencer get married and have lots and lots of little babies” right at the top.

But the first time I really remember spending quality time with Spencer was the summer before my senior year of high school. Tonya was just about to start her masters program, so the three of us drove down to Alabama. Not only did the two of them make me go to every Barbecue restaurant the Internet said was good on the way down there—keeping in mind I didn’t really even like barbecue sauce at the time—but we also got lost in a sketchy neighborhood in St. Louis, which we later found out was ranked the second most dangerous neighborhood in the country.

Now don’t get me wrong, all of that was a real bonding experience, but most bonding of all was when we got to Alabama. We got to a the hotel we were staying at for the night super late after a long day in the car, and realized that rather than giving us the room we had asked for—two queen beds—they gave us one with one king sized bed. There was not another single room open in the hotel. That night I learned that once you sleep with your sister and her boyfriend in a single bed, you never can go back.

Spencer has been there for it all—at least all of the things that are important. He was there when I toured Augie, he was there when I moved into Augie, and he was there in Vermillion every weekend of my freshmen year when I was at their apartment crying because I had no friends and just wanted to be with my sister.

You see, Tonya and I do a lot of fun things together. I could go on and on for hours about all the fun things I’ve done with my big sister. We swam with dolphins in Mexico, we’ve gone to countless concerts and book signings and nerdy storytelling conventions. We can talk forever about books and politics and music and television. Our three-hour rants on the drive home from Sioux Falls and eight-hour Netflix binges are seriously impressive.

Tonya and I have done some amazing, wonderful things together. But most of my favorite memories are the ones where Tonya, Spencer, and I are just hanging out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m always going to need some one-on-one sister bonding time in my life, but Spence can join us (almost) any time he likes. Ton, you’re my person; you’ll always be my person. But if there’s anybody I have to share you with, I’m sure glad it is Spencer.

As you know, Spencer and Tonya have been dating for quite a long time. Lots people asked them why they hadn’t gotten married yet over the years. They usually held back their annoyance and gave the “I’m getting my masters/I’m in medical school” answer. I think I know the real reason, though: Spence wanted me to be able to toast them on their wedding day. And I’m twenty-one now, so cheers!